1 Chronicals 15:11

This is Easy

But, honestly.  

I grew up in a Christian home.  I accepted Christ at 5 and still remember the night I bashfully asked my dad if I could steal his time with God and pray at dinner instead because, "I want to ask Jesus into my heart," I whispered.  

I remember him rushing to my mother (who was on the phone with my uncle) and pleading with her to get off the phone as quickly as possible.  I remember having to meet with the pastor and having him really not believe a small child understood the weight of sin and and the awe inspiring weight of grace. I remember being baptized, and half swimming to Brother Dell because someone forgot to drain the fount enough for my little frame to walk to him.

After that, I continued praying at dinner time with the family and at night with my dad that reflected what a child understands of sin, her day, and her belief that God would keep the scary dreams at bay (I had night terrors, you see) if only she were to ask:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for today.  Thank you for mommy, and daddy, and my Best Friend Krissy. Please bless us tonight as we sleep, keep our dreams safe, and happy, and full of roses. Please forgive me all my sins especially [insert--normally fighting with my Best Friend Krissy]. In Jesus' holy name, Amen. 

To this day, I revert back to this little prayer before bed if I am very tired, and am not paying attention.  It is really easy to include the hubby and the dog, now, because not much else has changed. I still sin and I still have night terrors and I am still incredibly grateful for the people in my life.

I believe that God has had his hand in how my life has turned out.  From being wait-listed by every college except the University of Wyoming (then, ironically, being invited to join their universities after I accepted Wyoming) to meeting Christopher in an acting class and deciding that very moment that man was going to be my husband.

This is Hard

But, honestly.

I am human.  I am stubborn.  I want to be in control.  I do not like struggling with something and forcing my pride to give it up to God.  I do not like admitting that some things are bigger than I can handle.

I especially don't like feeling like I am throwing out questions that seem to never get answered. Why?? tends to happen.  Frequently.

But then, I must be reading the verse wrong.  I am seeking God.  All of him.  Not bits of him at a time: His Will when I am trying to decide on going back to school or His Plan when the hubby and I talk about when to start a family or His Forgiveness when I have messed up--again.  

I am to seek Him in all things, all the time: His Will when I am trying to decide on going back to school and His Plan when the hubby and I talk about when to start a family and His Forgiveness when I have messed up--again.  His Will, Plan, Forgiveness, Kindness, Gentleness, Love.  It is to be sought when the sun is shining and all is right with the world.  It is to be sought in the storm.  And normally, He makes a pretty amazing, humble entrance when you seek him.  The sunflower.  The rainbow.

c Kathryn Parton

And to always seek Him as well as I can takes a ton of effort.  It is not easy.  It is very hard. But I am always rewarded with the utmost peace and stillness of the soul when I find Him in anything.  It makes it all worth it.

Thus, in the end, this is my easiest and hardest Resolution to keep.  But also the most important.

Simply Happy, Incredibly Blessed.

On Marriage

A Little Over 1/2 a Year

We are by no means any kind of marriage experts.  I, especially, am learning how to be a wife, how to run a home, how to be married.  The following is my own reflection on our short marriage, and an outlook on what life may have in store for us.  It is not intended to overstep or to give advice to others in some prolific way.  (And I have done so with as much gentleness as I can.  I do not mean for anyone to vomit in their mouths from over-sweetness.)

In Awe

Everyone speaks about Newlywed Bliss, and why is that?  Possibly because right now I still look at my husband and think, "My God, what a wonderful thing You have blessed me with."  I smile when he can't see because he's done something cute with Tiberius, or he's getting into bed, or he's working very hard to keep the house picked up after I've deep cleaned it.  What makes me sad is that most people believe this awe shouldn't doesn't last.  

Why?  I truly believe one secret to being happy is reflecting daily on how blessed you are to have this wonderful person in your life.  The days where you are tempted to say, "You're stupid.  Get away from me" should break your heart when they've not done something truly terrible to earn that disgust. And to not want to talk it out... well, that would make for some very lonely years wasted.  If I plan on spending 80 years with someone, you betcha I'm going to make it known what hurt my feelings, what makes me most joyful, what my dreams are, what my goals are.  And I welcome his sharing, too.  It is the only way to grow together instead of apart.

It is difficult to explain the little jump my heart still makes when the Mister comes home.  All I know is this is happiness, and I will do everything in my power to keep it so.

A Servant's Heart

If I learned anything from my mother (and I learned many things) it was the importance of a Servant's Heart in a marriage.  To give all that you have to another has the possibility to open up doors you never knew existed and encourages unconditional love in your spouse and your children.

My father worked ungodly hours while I was growing up, and normally it consisted of getting up at 4:30 am.  My sister and I would follow at 5:30. (What?  Our hair took FOREVER and looking good in middle/high school is very important!) In high school, my family was blessed to have my mother stay home.  She worked when she wanted, but the work she did at home kept her plenty busy.

She was always up at 4 am.  She was making our breakfasts, then packing our lunches, then running around making sure that all three of us were actually awake. (I had this nasty habit of faking getting up and then falling asleep on the comfy bathroom rug...)

To this day, I do not know if she knows what kind of love that showered the three of us with.  I do know that my father was always talking about how blessed he felt for those lunches.

To look after another human with every fiber of your being with a passion that could rival the sun... I really cannot think of a better blueprint for a happy family.

c Andy Barnheart, Photography
c Chris Parton, Quote from Vows

Resolution

"To continue marriage with a loving, joyful heart."  

The above defines my outlook on what marriage is, and I plan to run after continued awe and a servant's heart with love and joy.

Simply Happy, Incredibly Blessed.

To Be Gentler

c Kathryn Parton

Gentleness is Not an Act

Unlike kindness, gentleness is, simply, a spirit.  When one strives to be gentle, one must strive to change their very being in order to have a spirit of gentleness.  

It is not a choice to have an act of gentleness.  It is not a choice to be gentle towards another human, gentle towards an animal, gentle towards yourself.  

It is in someone's very nature.  So how can we make a Resolution "to be gentler?"

Strength

Leo Buscaglia's quote doesn't end with his idea on cruel people.  He continues on to say that "gentleness can only be expected from the strong."

If you want to be gentle, first you have to be strong.  Strong enough to choose the harder path, strong enough to shut down your cruelness, strong enough to be gentle.  

Good thing about strength?  It is a choice to build it.  It is a choice to exercise it.  To use every available chance to strengthen your ability to respond with gentleness.

What I'm (Planning On) Doing

Thus, to fulfill my Resolution, I plan to actively work on being strong enough to pick a gentle response, even if it can't always be considered kind.  To deliver bad news gently, even if I may have understood this would be the outcome all along.  To gently steer the rambunctious little kid back to his dad as he runs around in Walmart.  To gently respond to my husband.  To gently respond to my dog peeing on the floor (a-freaking-gain.  Those medicines are a doosy on his bladder.)  

In order to be gentle, I must have strength of character.  And in order to do so, I must actively choose to be kind and must always pick the gentle response.  Character strength will follow, and gentleness will be a characteristic of mine instead of a conscious thought.

What Will You Do?

Are you already gentle?  Share with the rest of us how you do it!

Are you wishing to be gentle more often?  Reflect, meditate, pray on how to become so and follow your own path to gentleness.  If 50% of us are kind and 50% of us are gentle, my Lord, the world would become Eden once again.

Simply Happy, Incredibly Blessed.

To Be Kinder

Kindness is not just a singular act. 

It is patience.  It is compassion.  It is an active choice. Every moment.  Every day.

To be considered "kind" you must be sweet more often than your are not, but this is not the goal. Kindness is not easy, and it should not be limited to a Random Act of Kindness on a random day for you to check off and say "Hey, I am a pretty good person!"

No.  Kindness lives in the heart.  You must actively choose to respond with a gentle spirit, a kind word, and a smile.  You must actively choose to "turn the other cheek" when someone has wronged you.  You must actively choose to smile at the woman who scowls at you in Walmart as she cuts you off and rams you with her cart.  You must actively choose to not flip off the driver that cut in front of you.  You must actively choose to just be nice.

And Let's Be Honest...

Kindness is just plan hard.  

I don't always want to be kind.  There are times I want to be angry.  I want to call that women in Walmart a mean name, just so she can hear it and know my displeasure.  I want to tailgate the vehicle that cut me off.  I want to ignore the man on the side of the road with a sign.  And then rationalize the unkind act by thinking, "Oh... it is just a scam."

There are days where it's just to impossible to be kind because, well, I am human.  Perfect kindness is just not in me.  Thankfully, it is in God.  Humans have the ability to be kind, God has the ability to be kind even when we do not.

So in the end, Mother Teresa had it right:

c Kathryn Parton

And this is my Resolution.  To attempt to always be kind, even when I do not want to be.  To know that there will be times where I will fail, and that's okay, but I should always strive for better.

Here's My Challenge to You:

Can you try to be kind?  Even if you do not believe in God, even if our views on God are radically different. 

Just be kind to one another.  Love on one another.  The world would be a much better place if people just worked to achieve kindness in their everyday lives.

Simply Happy, Incredibly Blessed